June 23-02 UA flight - Anchorage - New York

(what you will read here is not exactly grammatically correct English, it is more a collection of thoughts)

I have just completed the Anchorage Midnight sun marathon in a time of 4'12":57 with Team in training. The fund raising arm for the Leukemia and Lymphoma society. I raised a total of 4.700 from many generous contributors. I joined the cause inspired by Laura Yousefi who did it last year having never run long distances before. I knew that I wanted to run a marathon one day but I needed to train with a team because running alone long distances is very boring. I needed to be coached. I also found a great opportunity to do some good. TNT ended up surpassing my expectations in many ways. 
As I seat here with incredible pain in both of my legs, the left one with an incredibly tender quadriceps and the right one with an incredible screwed up Ilio Tibial band I feel good about having been able to finish my first marathon. I wanted to run in less than four hours, I was almost sure that I could but knew that these events are difficult to predict. 

The first part of my training went quite well, distances under 10 miles were known territory. As the distances got longer I started having trouble with my legs. It all started with a torn muscle on my left calf during the 18 mile run. I think it may have occurred after I played volleyball with Crystal and the spondy on my lower back moved a little. Compensating for the pain, I stressed the IT band of the right leg. It never healed. I took as much care of it as I could possibly do. I had great expectations for the 21 miler knowing that if I did not complete that one in a reasonably good time, my chances for doing the marathon were small to none. Brian Hill and I run in 3' 15" and felt good about it. I had lots of pain on the outside of the knee as a result of a bad IT band. I asked the coaches about my situation, got the roller, massaged put ice etc. I went to SMI for treatment and got two sessions of very deep tissue massage with JJ. JJ runs with the Nike farm team, is hoping to go to medical school one day and was very helpful with my it bands. 

Unfortunately I was not fully recovered and knew that the run would be painful. I was told that I would not hurt myself serioulsly. That the pain would not let me. I have high tolerance for pain and knew that I had to be careful. I want to run again. Running has been a part of my life and will continue to be. 

So Brian and I had a plan of attack that would get us through the marathon in under 4 hours. Start slow, start slow, start slow. Stretch at every water stop. Drink at every water stop. These instructions were engraved in my brain as I was also told that cognitive abilities will be affected with the run. I knew that I had to do these things. And I did them, every one of them. I also knew that I needed a mental strategy for when my body wanted to quit. Most of the runs the body wants to quit on mile one, these one was going to be specially difficult because the pain was going to be there from the very beginning and it was, and I had a strategy. 

In with the good, out with the bad. 

On every breath, in with the good, at exhale out with the bad. And focused on the leg with trouble and guide the energy to it. And keep focused on the task at hand. 

The scenery was beautiful. The level of excitement from everyone was high. The collective energy could be felt a long ways away. Several thousand people from TNT were united for a common good. Raise money to find a cure for Leukemia other blood borne diseases. Every person there sacrificed time, endured pain and raised lots of money. Everyone had her own reasons. Collectively we were a massive positive force. I could feel it. I could feel it since I started the program. I gathered so much from the collective energy of other participants and the positive vibrations. And this is one of the reasons why this program surpassed my expectations. I gained a lot personally from the journey. I was committed to a good cause, I was doing something healthy. I was surrounded by different types of people from who I could learn and to whom I could teach. The journey gave me strength from seeing others being strong. There were people for whom running was very very hard, they made incredible progress and showed me that I also could make it.

I did it! I finished my first marathon. It was not easy. In fact it was very hard. If did not have a mental strategy I would not have made it. Brian and I had found that we could be good running partners in a non-obvious way. It just happened. I think that If I had not run with Brian I would not have done as good as I did. Having said that, it is interesting to note that in 4 hours and 12 minutes we spoke very very little. I would say that we totaled less than 20 minutes talking. I conserved as much energy as I could. I thanked the people at the water stops for being there, I 'low five' the children that came out to cheer us and that was it. I focused on the breathing the good in and breathing the bad out. I think it worked. I finished the marathon. I had pain on my right leg from the beginning, I had pain on my left leg from about mile 10. The left calf threatened to cramp from about mile 15th.... it did not.

But I honestly can not understand why the run was so hard from so early. I was not prepared for that. I had doubts along the way if I was going to be able to tolerate the pain and run through it all. I also thought that the pain was there to prevent me from getting seriously injured.

And there was Kim who run with us for a little while, and Fabianne who took our picture from her rented iron horse, and Carl who showed up on mile 20 with the bandage I had given him and run with us for five miles and really made it possible for us to finish. Brian and I were destroyed. If we had proposed to the other to stop we would have been easily convinced. In fact I asked him to walk I think at around mile 22, we did it for a few minutes and starting to run again was one of the most difficult things I have ever done. 

And there I was thinking, there are people that can't even try because they are ill, and I am doing this for them and I have to be able, I have to be able, I have to complete this marathon. Running was as painful as walking anyway. On mile 25, at a water stop Brian asked if we should stop, I am told by Carl and Brian that I returned a categorical NO. I just knew that if I walked or stopped once again I would never be able to start again. And the orange slices that Carl was not able to give me kept me going, I was just thinking that he would reach me and I would savor them. And there was Craig ready to take us up the hill. And I am glad he ignored me when I told him we did not need help or company. We needed both I just could not thank them and talk to them and I felt bad about that. So he run us up the hill and then Sandy told us what to expect for the last 3/4 mile. We were almost there, we were going to make it. Longer than four hours but not much longer. In fact it was three hours and 73 minutes.

I am a little disappointed with the result, not because the time is not respectable for a first time marathoner but because I felt the pain of a person that decides on the morning of the event to go do it with no previous training. I had trained a lot. I made every single training. I did well until I injured myself. When injured I did everything I could do to heal myself. It was not enough and that is why I feel bad. But that is not an excuse that is just the way it is.

And there will be more, my desire to run is there, it is good for me physically and mentally and the pain will go away.

And if you stuck to the end of the story I hope you walk away with some kind of a lesson that you can apply to yourself. I think there are many here.